Elf on the Shelf...Epic Fail!

There was a present under the tree tonight.

I saw that it was for me and Cooper from Mom and Dad.

Mom let me open it before bed.

I kept asking if it was a toy.

Mom said no...but it would be fun.

Mom lied.

Mom read the book to me.

I kept asking her (pointing at the red guy in the box) if the book was about him.

She said yes.

Then she read that I couldn't touch him.

She read that he would fly to Santa every night.

all of this made me very upset.

She read that every day he would be somewhere else

in the house and I would have to find him.

"But what if he's hard to find?"

The more she read the more I didn't like it.

When she was done...I just sat and stared at that red guy in the box.

"Is he real?"

I heard dad say that mom was freakin' me out.

Mom finally decided that I wasn't falling for that crap.

Maybe the look on my face was evidence enough.

She told me that he wasn't real...that he was just a toy.

Well...that didn't make it any better.

"You tricked me"

I yelled at her while crying.

I.was.mad.

Of course, mad or not I did have to give that thing a name.

Ewdew...rhymes with tutu...a funny word I say a lot.

(don't ask...)

Then I asked mom if we could keep the book and throw the guy away.

Mom didn't like that very much.

It was not the best present opening experience.

Before I went to bed I asked mom if she was going to hide it for me to find...

I overheard mom telling Cooper that I am going to be a buzz kill for anything he wants to believe in...